Lynne Herod-DeVerges, founder Center of Light Miracles and Miracles Directory
There is so much emphasis placed on an individual or couple who, after becoming parents, are then valued as responsible, respectable folks, that it makes one wonder if those same people were ever considered to have value before. It’s truly ironic because, of course, there is no manual that comes with being a parent. And anyone who is physically capable of having children can co-create them. You may likely have heard the basic premise that it takes a license to drive, a credential to teach, and a certificate to provide massage therapy; but it’s not necessary to have any of these documents to bring a child into the world and raise it.
So why then is so much value placed on being parents? Perhaps, the reason is that it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world. It takes focus and discipline. It takes consistency and stability. And it takes persistence, patience and perseverance. Being a parent is no joke, although I encourage every parent to laugh, laugh, laugh and laugh some more at every possible turn. It lightens those moments when, through each and every stage of a child’s development, the parent becomes uncertain about their own or the child’s survival.
And because parenting is such a challenging task, there are many things besides the job itself that must be valued. It goes without mention that mom and dad value the child, but at every moment of every day, with every encounter that takes place (however difficult), giving value to that experience is the nugget of sense required at the time. What do I mean by this? Well, let me give you an example in the following story.
I was visiting a friend, who had just bought a new house and moved a couple of months before giving birth to her beautiful baby boy. She and her husband were excited about the new direction their lives were taking. Nevertheless, with a new house and a new baby comes the reality of more financial responsibility. Her husband, despite being in a good financial position, could not support the family alone. My friend, who owns her business, had to move her office into the living room of the house where she works while the baby slept, which amounted to catnaps.
When I saw her, she was exhausted, and she shared with me that she wanted someone else to take care of her baby. She felt guilty because she loved her child. But she was caught amidst fluctuating hormones, sleep deprivation, and multi-tasking baby care and composing sophisticated emails at rapid-fire speed. Her emotions ranged from ecstatic joy to overwhelm to hopelessness to selfishness to guilt and everything in between. And for all that she was feeling, her guilt in that present moment was the one emotion she had the hardest time with. She believed that she should feel grateful and in love with her baby unceasingly.
As we talked in the midst of her hodge-podge of emotions, I did what I could to console her. I explained how, by allowing herself to feel the guilt and everything else bottled inside one hundred percent, and by allowing the emotions to be present without resisting them, they would dissipate faster. She said, “You mean give them value?” I said, “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean!” When you give them value, you acknowledge the energy is there. And like all things unearthed and revealed in the light, it dissipates. It moves on, as it’s now able to pass through you. My friend found that she felt better, renewed and refreshed. The tiredness went away because she wasn’t using all of her energy reserves to resist what she was feeling and thinking.
I share this story because many parents have felt exactly the same way my friend did. And for some, the distress was even more severe. It doesn’t mean the parent is a bad person or that she shouldn’t experience what’s going on internally. These feelings are simply a natural part of parenthood. To place value on what’s being experienced is the quickest, most effortless and efficient way to deal with it. Don’t misunderstand. It doesn’t mean you should act out your feelings. Just give them their value.
To give each emotion value; each stage of a child’s development value; everything a child creates value; personal feelings and thoughts value; the experiences shared between parent and child value; and, in essence, every step and every aspect of life, yours and the child’s, value means to honor what’s in the present moment so that both parent and child can thrive.
The subject of this article is VALUE IT! And there is nothing that shouldn’t be valued when it comes to the life you create and the soul’s journey you help shape for you and your child.
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